A Car for Christmas
Danny had recently passed his driving test and decided to ask his clergyman father if there was any chance of him getting a car for Christmas, which was yet some months away. 'Okay.' said his father 'I tell you what I'll do. If you can get your 'A' level grades up to 'A's and 'B's, study your bible and get your hair cut, I'll consider the matter very seriously.'
A couple of months later Danny went back to his father who said 'I'm really impressed by your commitment to your studies. Your grades are excellent and the work you have put into your bible studies is very encouraging. However, I have to say I'm very disappointed that you haven't had your hair cut yet.
Danny was a smart young man who was never lost for an answer. 'Look dad. In the course of my bible studies I've noticed in the illustrations that Moses, John the Baptist, Samson and even Jesus had long hair.' 'Yes. I'm aware of that...' replied his father '... but did you also notice they walked wherever they went?'
Luck of the Draw
A man found himself in terrible financial difficulties. He is so desperate that for the first time in his life he gets down on his knees and prays to God for help. 'Dear God, I desperately need your help. I have no money to spend on Christmas presents for my family. Could you possibly arrange it so that I win the Lottery?' The lottery draw is held, but he wins nothing. He sends another prayer to God. 'My business has gone bust and if I don't get some money soon I'll lose my car and my Christmas will be will be very difficult. Please fix things so I win the lottery.' Lottery night comes, but he's unlucky. So he prays to God again. 'Please God, I've lost my car and now they're trying to take my house. Please help me to win the Lottery or our Christmas will be ruined.' Come lottery night, he again fails to win anything. 'Undeterred, be prays to God again. 'I am now a bankrupt, my house has been repossessed by the finance company and so has my car. We are now living on the street, but all I need to get my life back together and perhaps enjoy some kind of Christmas is to win the lottery.' Suddenly there's a flash of brilliant life as the heavens open and the man is confronted by the very voice of God himself. 'Hey, do me a favour will you, buy a ticket.'
Christmas Prayers
A few days before Christmas, two young brothers were spending the night at their grandparent's house. When it was time to go to bed, and anxious to do the right thing, they both knelt down to say their prayers.
Suddenly, the younger one began to do so in a very loud voice.
"Dear Lord, please ask Santa Claus to bring me a play-station, a mountain-bike and a telescope."
His older brother leaned over and nudged his brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
"I know" he replied, "But Grandma is!"
Shopping Early
It was coming up to Christmas and the Judge was in a jolly frame of mind.
"Now then, please tell me, what is the charge against you?"
" I was caught doing my Christmas shopping very early." replied the man in the dock.
"That doesn't seem like an offence to me. What do you mean by 'very early?
"Well, your Honour." said the defendant, "It was before the shop was open." |
